Editors -- Marilyn Holloway and Sue Riches

This issue arrives with glad and sad news herein.  THE SAD --   Professor Withers, our Dean of Students, pastoral carer and ombudsperson extraordinaire, requires a significant portion of t.l.c. himself after being unseated from his bike by a student and re-breaking his elbow.  Perhaps we should club together and buy him some calcium tablets to aid the healing of his crumbling frame -- on the other hand, perhaps a tricycle might be just the ticket with a large flag on the back.  Commiserations Ray (and Vicki)!   Or perhaps defence is the best mechanism ...............

AWARDS

THE GLAD -- Congratulations to David Lupton.  The Education Committee and Judges of the American Australian Association have awarded David a Fellowship for the upcoming academic year in the United States.  Very best wishes to David when he finally embarks on his postdoctoral chemistry career overseas later this year.

Congratulations to the following completing PhD scholars:

Mr Brendon Barratt (supervisor Professor C Easton) was admitted to the degree of Doctor of Philosophy on 4 May 2005. The title of Brendon's thesis was: The Development of PAM Enzyme Inhibitors and Cleavable Amino Acids for the Control of Peptide Hormone Levels.

Mr Alexander Duncan (supervisor Professor M Collins) was admitted to the degree of Doctor of Philosophy on 3 May 2005. The title of Alexander's thesis was: Scalable Iterative Potential Energy Surface Construction using Constraints.

Mr David Lupton (supervisor Professor M Banwell) was admitted to the degree of Doctor of Philosophy on 3 May 2005. The title of David's thesis was: Studies Directed Towards the Assembly of the Binary Vinca Alkaloids: A Total Synthesis of (±)-Aspidospermidine.

Mr Darragh O'Neill (supervisor Professor P Gill) ­ Electron Correlation by Wigner Intracules.

Lions will eat anything

(For the POMS amongst us - from the Withers and Welberry consortium)

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.  The first is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. He starts on this, but suddenly a huge fish leaps out and bites him.  He is not going to let a fish have a go, so he beats the offending fish to death with a spade. Realising that his boss is not going to be best pleased, he tries to find a way to hide the dead fish.

He hits on the brilliant idea of giving the fish to the lions, as lions will eat anything.  So he throws the fish into the lions' cage.

He then moves on to his second job, which is to clear out the monkey house.  He goes in, but a couple of chimps start throwing coconuts at him.  Unamused he swipes at the chimps with his spade, killing them instantly.  He's really worried now, so what does he do? He hurls the dead chimps into the lions' cage, because lions eat anything.

Anyway, he moves on to his last job, which is to collect honey from South American bees.  He starts on this and quickly gets attacked by the swarm.  Alarmed, he grabs his spade and smashes the bees as hard as he can, squashing them to death.  By this point he is not too worried about the death of bees as he knows what to do.  He throws them into the lions' cage, because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo.  It wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like in here?"  The other lion says:

(Wait for  it.........)

"Absolutely brilliant! Today we had fish, chimps and mushy bees"

Soccer news!   Purple Shins games scheduled during the next four weeks:

Thurs 2/06/2005 ­ 12:40 pm

RSC vs DOI Wanderers

Thurs 9/06/2005  -  12:40 pm
RSC vs Real RSPHYSSE

Tues 14/06/2005  -  12:40 pm
RSC vs RSBS

Tues 21/06/2005  -  12:40 pm
RSC vs Life Sciences/Stromlo

Games are usually held at Fellows Oval, but occasional last minute changes to South Oval will be notified if and when they occur.  Spectators are welcome (in fact, encouraged) to lend their support to our School team.  The points table will be published in future editions of the RSC News.

Recent Staff Arrivals

A sincere welcome is extended to the following people who have arrived since our last issue:

Dr Daniel Offermann from Monash University has commenced a Postdoctoral Fellowship with Professor Banwell's group (room 229, ext. 59797).

Dr Hideki Onagi has returned from USA to resume his association with Professor Easton's group as a Postdoctoral Fellow (room 109, ext. 54207) - Welcome back Hideki!

Departures

Farewell and best wishes to the following who have left the School since our last issue:

Dr Matthew McDonough who has taken up a Postdoctoral Fellowship with the University of Sydney.

Dr Adam Wright has resigned to take up a position in the UK.

Staff Publications since last issue as at 23 May 2005:

Bourgault, R., Oakley, A.J., Bewley, J.D., Wilce, M.C.J. Three-dimensional structure of (1,4)-β-D-mannan mannanohydrolase from tomato fruit. Protein Sci.(2005), 14(5), 1233-1241.^§ http://dx.doi.org/10.1110/ps.041260905

Caldwell, L.M., Hill, A.F., Willis, A.C. Selenoaroyl complexes of molybdenum.Chem. Commun.(2005), (20), 2615-2617. http://dx.doi.org/10.1039/b417508e

Alternative word meanings - quoted from The Washington Post:

Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained

Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp

Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller

Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam

....... and more words from the creative minds of Washington Postreaders:

Intaxication (n.), euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with

Cashtration (n.), the act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period

Osteopornosis (n.), a degenerate disease

Caterpallor (n.), the colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you are eating

Decafalon (n.), the gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you

Karmageddon (n.), it's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?  And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer!

LUSH (Legion of Universal Science Historians) Notes -- for toasting at Bramley's

May 30	1859	J C MAXWELL wrote to G G Stokes about his velocity distribution.  This was apparently the first appearance of the Maxwell velocity distribution, although the bell-shaped curve became famous much earlier.
June 1	1796	NICOLAS LÉONARD SADI CARNOT was born in Paris.  His book on fire is the only scientific work he was able to publish, and it was neglected for twenty years.
June 6	1436	JOHAN MÜLLER was born in Königsberg, Franconia.  He published his astronomical and mathematical work under the name of Regiomontanus, which you have probably heard of.
	1850	KARL FERDINAND BRAUN was born in Hesse.  He invented the oscilloscope and the solid state rectifier.
June 8	1916	FRANCES HARRY COMPTON CRICK was born in Northampton, and obtained his PhD at Cambridge University.  He and Watson proposed the double-helix structure for DNA in 1953.
	1912	LAUE, FRIEDRICH and KNIPPING presented their theoretical and experimental work on X-ray crystal diffraction to the Royal Bavarian Academy of Sciences.

Classifieds

House-sit -- Warm, comfortable home in Curtin available for house-sit -- from June 17 to July 14 whilst owners are overseas.  No rent, full pantry, all mod cons, including the companionship of adorable twin chocolate Burmese cats.  Please contact Marilyn X53765 if you are interested.